1. |
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Maybe it was the burrito
Or all that pizza
what the fuck was in those chimichangas
All i know is I need to shit
I need to do it fast
Soon toxic waste will be spewing out my ass
Stomach churning
Colon burning
Oh god it hurts so bad
Cheeks clenching
Legs are shaking
Worst pain I've ever had
Oh god I need to shit!
Finally able to relieve my bowels
But something is wrong
The toilet is cracking under the pressure
The toilet has shattered
Flying through the air
Now there's shit everywhere
Stomach churning
Colon burning
Oh god it hurts so bad
Cheeks clenching
Legs are shaking
Worst pain I've ever had
Oh man i can't do this anymore!
I finally awoke
To chaos and destruction
What smells like shit?
The whole house has leveled
People are screaming
The only explanation, explosive diarrhea
Stomach churning
Colon burning
Oh god it hurts so bad
Cheeks clenching
Legs are shaking
Worst pain I've ever had
(Whimpering)
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2. |
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Ballad of the Blade
(Mom I broke my sword)
What can I do
With a broken blade
No more quest
To be made
I’ll be food
For the trolls
Unless I search
With soul
eBay
show your selection
Of hardened steel
To add to my collection
Finally
The perfect one
Mom
Get the capital one
Two to four weeks of shipping
My d&d group will be pissed
I guess I’ll be the DM for awhile
The’ll fight and pillage and rape without me
I can’t take it anymore
I’m tired of reciting lore
I just want to kill an ogre
Goblins knolls or a beholder
Mom said the sword arrived
When I saw it I nearly cried
She rolled her eyes and left the room
Prepare yourself i’m ready for Doom
Gonna kill a fuckin dragon
Level 70 battle mage
Just nailed an eleven hottie
Found the bracelet of sex change
So many crazy adventures
I left a horde of orcs in blaze
I’m the ruler of these lands
And I never even left my basement
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3. |
Beware Of The Bacon
03:35
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This is a story
About a guy
Who has discovered
Bacon is cancerous
Even sausage
Is out to kill
I can't stop
I need my fill
You can't take it from me
I need my greasy meat
You don't understand
I will destroy and maim
Anyone who stands in my way
I promise heads will roll
Now i'm in the ward
i threatened the fucking clerk
He stood in my way
I'm on Mellow meds
Cravings will not stop
Bacon calls my name
I have just been released
Free to roam the streets
I am completly cured
I go to get some lunch
A nice greek salad
Then i smell some bacon
I start to sweat like mad
Slowly going insane
Bacon still calls my name
Bacon Bacon Sausage
Sausage Sausage Bacon
Bacon Bacon Bacon
All i wanted was some bacon, just some bacon, but they wouldn't give it to me just some bacon.
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4. |
Meat Salad
05:15
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5. |
You're Vegan
00:03
|
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You're vegan, but why?
|
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6. |
Midget Wrestling
00:04
|
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It's funny cause they're short. Midget wrestling.
|
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7. |
Meat Grind
00:43
|
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Meat
Grind
Meat
Grind
Meat grind
Meat grind
Meat grind
Meat grind
Nathan Hines
Piece of pie
Pork rind
Now you die
Meat grind
Meat grind
Meat grind
Meat grind
jfbiejnf jnfj
jbirnikmrkm njvnf
jnrfiujnif iii
nkejrng Hamburgler!
|
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8. |
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(The distant sound of flatulence.)
|
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9. |
Shitstorm
02:47
|
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Sky goes dark
Looks like a flower
Sounds like fart
Then comes the shower
Rain is brown
Smells like shit
I think there's corn
Now i'm covered in it
Using the earth for it's original purpose
A giant, cosmic porcelain throne
We're just a pest
That somehow survived in the bowl
Every 65 million years
God takes a dump on us
What are we to do
But sit here and take this crap
God never cared
What a dick
Maybe that's why
The world was sick
Now comes death
A shitty fate
Now pray
From his bowels come hate
Using the earth for it's original purpose
A giant, cosmic porcelain throne
We're just a pest
That somehow survived in the bowl
Every 65 million years
God takes a dump on us
What are we to do
But sit here and take this crap
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10. |
Masturbating T-Rex
04:00
|
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Added length to his arms
To unleash a killer beast
The result unexpected
T-Rex calm and collected
First he’s sitting then he’s fapping
Frightening sounds of thunder clapping
Holds on tight aims his leather
Gobs the place like stormy weather
Used to be
A killer beast
Now at peace
We leave the gates
Open
Without fear
Found his zen
Rubbing his hands
With his glands
We have to reduce his sex drive
Added length to his arms
To unleash a killer beast
The result unexpected
T-Rex calm and collected
First he’s sitting then he’s fapping
Frightening sounds of thunder clapping
Holds on tight aims his leather
Gobs the place like stormy weather
Made him a wife
Found him a jobs
Waited ten years
Now he’s pissed
Ready to go
Start some carnage
First stop
The pharmacy
Found something neat
Dino viagra
Goddamnit
|
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11. |
Decree Of The Meat Lord
03:19
|
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Here he comes
Hail the Meat Lord
Defy him
And he'll nail you to the cutting board
He rules one
He rules all the meat
Frying you up
Is his favorite treat
You broke the law
Your punishment is due
Hot dog water bath
Waiting for you
Never the same
A man named Toni
Spent the rest of his days
Smelling like pepperoni
All hail, the Meat Lord!
(solo)
You feel that? That's the Meat Sweats!
I smell sweat
I smell sausage
The Meat Lord
Has someone hostage
Here he comes
Hail the Meat Lord
Defy him
He'll nail you to the cutting board
Depressed and alone
They call him poor Blair
Every time he sweats
You can smell donair
This is how
He rules his domain
You fuck up
He causes you pain
I dub thee, Meat Slaves!
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12. |
Unleash The Moose
04:13
|
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Ruuuuuuuun
The moose just ate Ted
A mutant creation
Terrorizing the nation
It won't stop till it's fed
Fuuuuccckkkk
Eyes black without soul
Eating human flesh
Leaves a bloody mess
It has but one goal
Eating all it fucking can
Gonna have to think of a plan
To escape the violent beast
Before I become it's next feast
Drooling radioactive green
On his antler lies a spleen
Breath drawing ever closer
Guess i'm just an unlucky hoser
Running
For my life
Living
Would be nice
Plowing
Through the trees
Killing
All it sees
Unleash the moose!
Ruuuunnnn
Mooooose
People gored on its horns
Out of breath
Wishing for death
Wish i was never born
Looooose
Survival is so fucking far
I'm gonna die
Fuck, oh my
The moose was just hit by a car
(solo)
Ruuuuuuuun
The moose just ate Fred
A mutant creation
Terrorizing the nation
It won't stop till it's fed
Fuuuuccckkkk
Eyes black without soul
Eating human flesh
Leaves a bloody mess
It has but one goal
Eating all it fucking can
Gonna have to think of a plan
To escape the violent beast
Before I become it's next feast
Drooling radioactive green
On his antler lies a spleen
Breath drawing ever closer
Guess i'm just an unlucky hoser
Running
For my life
Living
Would be nice
Plowing
Through the trees
Killing
All it sees
Unleash the moose!
Ruuuunnnn
Mooooose
People gored on its horns
Out of breath
Wishing for death
Wish i was never born
Looooose
I think i'm going insane
I'm gonna die
Fuck, oh my
The moose was just hit by a train
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